Search for synonyms
by CaptainElf
Summary: In which the Doctor is unable to find the correct word that aptly describes how he feels. Birthday present for Batmarcus,


**A/N: And Vern returns! I just had to. Happy birthday to my friend Batmarcus, hope it's a good one!**

 **I don't own Doctor Who, but I do own Vern.**

 **The Search for Synonyms**

The Doctor was… depressed. He had an extensive vocabulary and knew words like "allonsy", "sanctimonious" and "loquacious", so he could probably come up with a word better than depressed.

Morbid? No, that sounded too dark.

He looked around, his eyes falling on the nearest alien. A large purple thing, looking like a stereotypical alien, with silver eyes that took up most of his face, two small holes for a nose and a thin line indicated that it had a mouth.

"Excuse me, can you perhaps help me?" The Doctor asked. The purple being looked around at him, his large eyes blinking thrice before the creature replied.

"Of course, with what?"

"I think I'd like to know your name first, before we go any further." The Doctor said. He was unsure as to what this thing was. 900 years and he hadn't seen something like this.

"My name is Vern, Doctor." The alien said, "And boy am I surprised to see you here, sir. I mean, you're a legend where I come from."

"Where do you come from?"

"Someone's imagination. They like you most of all, this incarnation of you. The next one they like as well, though not as much."

"THE NEXT ONE?" The Doctor all but screeched, before he composed himself.

"Yes. You're very popular, you know. They even made a Monopoly game with you as inspiration." Vern the alien said. It was the Doctor's turn to blink.

"What?"

"Never mind. What did you need my help with?" Vern said kindly. The Doctor just stared at the being in front of him. Was he dreaming?

"Wait…"

"No, no, no, Doctor, the story must move along. What did you need my help with?"

With that the Doctor shook his head, confused, but decided to play along, because that was what he expected of others.

"I need a synonym for 'depressed'." He said. The purple creature laughed. He didn't know why.

"How about unhappy?" Vern suggested.

"Too unoriginal. Look, a word with a prefix, because people couldn't think of an antonym for happy." The Doctor was making fun of a word for, well, being a word. He was a fighter of evil and a saviour to many, yet he was making fun of a word. What was wrong with him?

"Sad?"

"Too short, Vern, I have a status to uphold." The Time Lord admonished him, causing Vern to roll his eyes.

"Morbid?"

"That one sounds too dark." It was what he'd told himself earlier as well.

"Disheartened?" Vern said.

"I… quite like that one. Next." The Doctor filed the word away for later usage.

"Gloomy." Vern wasn't asking anymore.

"Doom and gloom – proper assonance, but overused." The Doctor nodded wisely.

"Morose?"

"It has the word 'rose' in it." He missed her dearly. Vern just nodded along with him.

"Of course. Sullen?"

"That sounds too much like sulk." The Doctor whined, like a two year old.

"Melancholy?"

"A drink on a beach."

"Miserable?"

"That is an apt description, but for dramatic people."

"And you're not dramatic, Doctor? You're in a galactic pub, talking to a strange alien about a word to describe your current emotions because the word depressed isn't good enough?"

"It isn't my emotions I'm describing! I'm… writing a play…" The Doctor argued.

"Shut up, Doctor." Vern said, somehow admonishing the Time Lord in a gentle way. "It gets better, I promise."

"How do you know that?" The Doctor demanded. He'd lost Rose, for the second time, and had to leave his duplicate with her…

"I just know. You're the Doctor! You can do anything… except… maybe skip the Mars mission…" Vern looked at his watch. "I have to go."

"Don't you want to go travelling with me?"

"Of course I do. But I have a friend who is waiting for me." Vern got up from the stool, "Good luck, Doctor."

Vern turned away from him and made to walk away.

"Wait, where do you come from?"

Vern turned around, "I am a figment of your imagination, Doctor. Now you feel less dejected and can go on."

Dejected? That was his favourite one thus far.

"Are you real?" The Doctor asked next.

"That, Doctor, is for you to decide."

. . .

 **A/N: Yes, well. Review?**


End file.
